“Become a Conversation Specialist”
If you try to be interesting to others, you are working against human nature. If you will become interested in others, you’ll be working with human nature.
Ask open-ended questions. Here are five examples:
- “Donnie, tell me how did you get in your line of work?”
- “What is the best part you like about your industry?”
- “What type of trend do you see?”
- “Can you tell me a little bit more about your profession?”
- “I meet people all of the time. Tell me how I would know if someone would be a good contact for you?”
Here are a couple of key phrases to continue the conversation:
- “Wow!!! Can you tell me a little more?”
- “Will you please elaborate?”
- “Do you have any ideas about that?”
- “What’s your opinion?”
In a conversation, make sure you do what I call “the give and take”. In other words, you give to the conversation. So tell them a little about yourself but keep the conversation on them. People are more interested in themselves. Make sure you’re not interrogating them with one question after another.
Here’s an example of the wrong way: “Hello, my name is Michael Mitchell… Hello, Bobby, it’s nice to meet you. Do you live around here? Do you have any kids? What type of work do you do? What company are you with? How long have you been working there?”
Here’s a better way to handle that conversation. “Hello, my name is Michael Mitchell… Hello Bobby, it’s nice to meet you. Do you live in the area? You know, I have a brother that lives right in that area and I am in that area a few times a year but I live in Dallas. Do you have any little ones yet? Two boys, great! We have three boys and my wife said that was it! We’ll just have to wait for the grand daughter if I wanted that girl. I’m working in the computer field, Bobby. What type of profession are you in?….I think you get the flow of give and take. You give then you take from the conversation, but make sure you take more than you give.
Try to find out what’s important to them…what they like, what they want from life, what hobbies. Be an active listener rather than a passive hearer. Now I must admit, this one is hard for me and I work on this one daily, but try not to be thinking about your next contact or some unrelated issue when you should be listening. Sorry golfers, I’ve never played, but if the person I’m talking to plays golf, we will talk about playing golf. “Why?”, because I want to be interested and relate to them. The more relatable you are to them, the smarter they think you are.
So, I want you to keep this in mind. After your next conversation, did you know more about them or did they learn more about you?
You want to become a problem solver.
Start your sentences off with words like “We help… we help solve…we help people…we try to save companies from…I help networkers solve sponsoring problems…I design online systems to help…our goal is to help others…we specialize on helping others.”
Talk about your profession in a positive manner followed by a solution you provide. Here are some don’ts in a conversation:
- Don’t always be the one to have the better story.
- Don’t talk on and on and on.
- Don’t ever put down their competitors.
- Don’t always have to be the “up onemanship” type.
- Don’t argue. If you have a different opinion, that’s okay, but don’t get into an argument.
- Don’t think you know everything.
Remember, be interesting to others. You are working against human nature. If you will become interested in others, you’ll be working with human nature.
Find your passion,
